Bill Clinton

Once again I bring you news of my fully exciting and very eventful life. On Tuesday I attended a dinner party with my girlfriend, at which the guests of honor were none other than her aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. Bill Clinton (For those of you who have read my sister's blog and the article in which she claimed to meet Willy, I assure you this is an entirely separate issue). The fare at our disposal was none other than the finest culinary delight known to mankind: freshly baked Papa Murphy's Pizza. As I feasted upon a piece of garlic chicken pizza, Bill asked me what grade I was going into next year at school. I informed him that, like his niece, I too would be a senior. We chatted about various objects of conversation, among those my passion for euphonium and his passion for saxophone. After discussing the finer points of Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue," we engaged in a friendly debate in politics. As he argued the side of John Kerry, I could not help but point out that Kerry has not asserted his opinions in many matters of importance to the American public. I also pointed out his sudden change in philosophy regarding the military and intelligence groups, citing his more than 70% absence rate in the Senate Intelligence Committee and his radical anti-military past. Clinton, as the skilled orator and debater he has always been, swiftly and quite effectively dodged my implications of Kerry's dereliction of duty and immediately began talk of tax breaks and the economy. As he began a speech about liberal fiscal policy and the benefits upon society, I grinned to myself and reminded myself that, in the words of Pink Floyd, sometimes "you just can't win."