In other news: I talked to Bill Clinton again, and asked him who he was voting for. Surprisingly, he seemed to have changed his mind since our last encounter (possibly due to my persuasion) and said his ballot would be cast for George W. Bush, our capable incumbent. Cheers to Billy Jo Bob!

S.O.S!

This is my big sister. Looks like she has some issues. She made the mistake of going out in Elliot Bay with much less than a sea-worthy craft. Her original intent was to mosey over to Alki Beach and eat a picnic lunch there, but she soon realized she had forgotten a paddle. As a result, she floated around for hours. It kinda sucked. But at least she didn't have a bear on board with her! Anyway, she ended up all the way north of Ballard. Holy cow. Well, as darkness fell, she realized she had to do something to get home safely, so this is a picture taken by a tanker coming to rescue her as she waves her bandana. Let this be a lesson to anyone who might think about making a boat and sailing it to Alki Beach! I'm sure there's hundreds of you in a similar situation, so I'm just trying to save you from the embarrassment my sister went through.

Bill Clinton

Once again I bring you news of my fully exciting and very eventful life. On Tuesday I attended a dinner party with my girlfriend, at which the guests of honor were none other than her aunt and uncle, Mr. and Mrs. Bill Clinton (For those of you who have read my sister's blog and the article in which she claimed to meet Willy, I assure you this is an entirely separate issue). The fare at our disposal was none other than the finest culinary delight known to mankind: freshly baked Papa Murphy's Pizza. As I feasted upon a piece of garlic chicken pizza, Bill asked me what grade I was going into next year at school. I informed him that, like his niece, I too would be a senior. We chatted about various objects of conversation, among those my passion for euphonium and his passion for saxophone. After discussing the finer points of Gershwin's "Rhapsody in Blue," we engaged in a friendly debate in politics. As he argued the side of John Kerry, I could not help but point out that Kerry has not asserted his opinions in many matters of importance to the American public. I also pointed out his sudden change in philosophy regarding the military and intelligence groups, citing his more than 70% absence rate in the Senate Intelligence Committee and his radical anti-military past. Clinton, as the skilled orator and debater he has always been, swiftly and quite effectively dodged my implications of Kerry's dereliction of duty and immediately began talk of tax breaks and the economy. As he began a speech about liberal fiscal policy and the benefits upon society, I grinned to myself and reminded myself that, in the words of Pink Floyd, sometimes "you just can't win."

Deuce me up!

While on a family vacation in Moses Lake, my great, wonderful, wise older sister Heather and I created a card game called "Deuce Me Up." Being the cunning linguist I am, I characterized "Deuce" as being "like a tootsie roll. You can't explain it. Like trying to tell someone it's a chewy candy, but its chocolate, but then again, not really." My exquisite abilities as an orator shine through with every syllable of that quote.... Incredible, is it not? Anyway, for a write-up of rules, go here.

I'm Next!

I recently was surfing the web and found a comment--"All the great J's die young: Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, and Jimi Hendrix." Naturally, my name being Justin, this got me thinking. Am I of high enough caliber to be considered a "great J?" Perhaps, and obviously this would be considered a monumental accomplishment. My name would forever be etched in the history books beside the likes of Morrison, Joplin, and Hendrix, three of the greatest musicians of recent history. Maybe our quartet would receive such an honor as that bestowed upon Washington, Jefferson, Roosevelt, and Lincoln, the four faces on Mount Rushmore. They could name our monument "Stone Hen-J." But that is beside the point, and merely a petty dream. The real issue now shifts from determining my worthiness to be dubbed a "great J" to that of what to do with my designation. Should I fight my impending doom and attempt to live my life to its fullest potential, or should I resign myself to the will of fate and allow destiny to take its course? If I fight death and succeed, my valiant efforts could be rewarded two ways: either I am highly and undoubtedly successful, living up to my predecessors, or I am merely a lukewarm success with limited prospects and unaccomplished dreams. In one case, I am widely revered, yet I break a standard previously established, that of dying young, which could possibly subtract my name from the ranks of the great J's. In the other case, I am merely a bug splat on the windshield of life, my existence amounting to nothing. My other option, to accept death's early sting, would leave only one option. People worldwide would see my accomplishments up to this date and think to themselves, "What a tragic ending! If only this young lad was not robbed of his precious life, he could have made countless contributions to society!" This will clearly give me respect and love on a global scale, which is much better than the chances I will partake in if I choose to fight a tragic death. It is now clear to me that I am destined to die young and there is nothing I can do about it. Due to this realization, I now resign myself to the icy hand of death, which may grip me anytime it wishes. Anytime, so long as it's after I change my name to Zeppelin.