7.26.2004

Zeppelin

A great opportunity has presented itself before me, one which could alter the ways of my life forever and change the way my peers view me. This opportunity, if taken, would be the most ground-breaking decision I've ever made in my 17 years of life. This opportunity would liken my name, my identity, and even my very soul to a musical group loved, revered, and booked for countless concerts around the world. This opportunity is to change my middle name to "Zeppelin" as a tribute to the band that put the blues on steroids. Seeing as this decision is of such great consequence in my life, let us weigh both the positive and the negative effects it could have upon my existence. Changing my middle name would make me "cool" among my peers, but what does that matter? Even teenager drinkers, stoners, and fornicators earn such a title with their friends, and what do I want in common with those of my age? So being cool to my friends is not a paramount issue. Altering my designation would most likely anger my mother, who, with my father, chose the name "James" from the Bible to fit between "Justin" and my surname. My father's reaction may be a different matter, however, since he himself is also a fan of Led Zeppelin. Another issue is whether the novelty of a new name will be long-lived, or if my pleasure with a new identity will wear off in short time. This conclusion cannot be reached at the present time, however. The only way to discover the true answer is to change my name. A last issue which is of vital importance to my life is this: What is my own appreciation for Led Zeppelin and the music they created worth? And what pleasure would it give me to create a lasting tribute to them? None of the previous issues can overshadow this great abungerism, one which is easily answered: due to the influence Led Zeppelin has had upon both my guitar and bass playing, I find taking this opportunity the only fitting way I can show my gratitude for their musical genius and creativity. Therefore, effective immediately upon reaching adulthood, I shall undertake the process neccessary to legally change my middle name from "James" to "Zeppelin."

3 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think that sounds really cool. It's not like the middle name comes up that often. Most people don't even know mine, which is actually also James. The only person who really has to live with it is you. And Led Zeppelin is a great great band, so why not do it? Zeppelin is a name that kind of works as a middle name.

Joel A. Shaver said...

I wonder whether you actually have post notification turned on, and so whether you'll ever actually know that I read this post like a year and three months later...

You could always do the awesome 2 middle names thing! Justin J. Z. Ehli looks pretty cool... And when people ask for your full name, it draws out the suspense to have James first. Kind of like a decoy.

Yes, my name is Justin James.... .... ... ZEPPELIN Ehli

Joel A. Shaver said...

Sadly, Zeppelin does have a better ring to it than either Pink or Floyd would have. I would laugh at you if you chose either, to be honest.